the leash of death

Here's the deal. I don't understand why I have to put on a leash to go outside. I am perfectly fine without it. Its like my masters think that if I go outside without it I might not be able to walk. Sheesh, what weirdos???

If I were meant to be tied down, God would have made me with a long leash on my body. But do you see that...NO So why try and keep me down? I think it is because my owners are jealous of my speed and agility. They walk all weird and awkwardly on their hind legs. But me, I am sleek and built for speed. 

The worst contraption ever is not the leash but the harness. Good gracious. Who thought that thing up??? Obviously not a dog. Have you tried to wear one of those things?? I feel like a child wearing diapers. It certainly slows me down... and cramps my style. Anyways, enough complaining, I need to get my cute on so I can get a treat!

Ps, i need to give a bark out to Zim. I haven't hung out with him in a while. Peace!!