P-P-PANCHO!!!!

Here I sit at 6:00 AM just waiting for someone to walk me. I even put my leash on and everything. Don't I look sad? Not really. I look ridiculously good looking. Yes I am. I love you my fans, keep reading!!!

snake attack!

Tonight when I was going out for my last lap around the yard, I was stopped dead in my tracks by a snake. Now the rule of thumb is that you have to take about 18 inches away from the snake when you first see it because it freaks you out! SO in my mind this snake was 10 feet minus eighteen inches. Not really, but my owner and I jumped back about 5 feet when we first saw it.

I didn't know what to do at first. It seemed friendly enough, but then it took a swipe at me. Luckily I am twice as nimble as I am cute, so I was not hurt. But boy did my master freak out. He wouldn't let me go teach it some manners. He kept pulling me away. The worst part of the whole thing is that I still had to go use the restroom when we came back in. I guess I'll just have to hold it until the morning. Oh well, I like my comfy bed. Hopefully I won't dream of waterfalls and rivers and rain. sigh...

Distant Relative

Im not one for promoting other dogs, as I am the most handsome and interesting creature I know, but I will make an exception for my distant cousin from Saskatchewan. Isn't he so cute? I mean not as cute as me obviously, but still in the top ten cutest things youve seen today?

evil squirrels

Lately, these two squirrels have been dropping peanut shells in our yard. They are so rude. I have been barking at them and trying to get them to stop, but every time I start to tell the squirrels to cut it out, one of my owners runs over and shushes me?!? I look at them like, "I'm helping you out here?!?!" As soon as I try again I hear "Pancho, be quiet!!" You'd think that they would appreciate my efforts to keep the yard clean. But no.

When we go outside I have been trying to pick up after these dastard squirrels, eating any peanut shell i see. But, what do you think happens? You guessed it. "No Pancho, put that down. Don't eat THAT?!" I mean it's one thing to keep me from telling the squirrels to stop, but now you won't let me clean up their mess? Geez, my owners are so clueless sometimes. I guess they like the peanut shell mess in their front yard.

I mean look, my job is to protect and serve (and look cute). But, if you won't let me do my job then I am going to have to have to go on puppy-strike and demand better terms. Wait. Let me review my terms. Right now I get all the Eukanuba I can eat. I get fresh water and a warm bed and blanket to snuggle in... Okay, maybe you guys can get away with this once... But just once...

Fame!!! I'm gonna live forever...

Just thought I would leave you with the latest photo of me. One of my fans finally put my good-lookingness to use! I am a now featured in the metropolitan museum of "pupular" art. Aren't I handsome? Note the use of color and my fantastic puppy bone-structure! Enjoy!!!

world domination... well first the United States

Well. I have just registered for a program called Google Analytics and it has been a very nice tool for me to track all the dogs out there that are checking my website. It is fun to use because there are a few poodles in San Diego that follow me. Plus I found out I actually have a decent following from New Hampshire... New Hampshire WOOT!

So if you do not have this for your blog or website, you should try it. All you have to do is use your google account. (well i am secretly using my owner's account, there is no such thing as a puppy-proof computer! rotfb-rolling on the floor barking)

Anyways keep checking the website and telling your friends about handsome me. Speaking of handsome! If you are looking for a great Valentine's day gift for your loved one, you can cut and paste one of my pictures on to your cheesy Valentine's day card and it will up the value by 250% Your loved one will see my handsome face and hopefully transfer part of the affection toward you!

Anyways have a great week and make sure to tell you closest puppy "hello" and rub his/her belly!

okay, its cold!

Here's the deal. I am a short haired dachshund. SHORT hair. So could you please turn up the thermostat? Its been way too cold here in Florida. This is the sunshine state. I want to roll around in the grass and sun my belly!

 Lately I have just gone outside to do my business and Im ready to come back in!!! I would rather sun my belly with the overhead reading lamp inside, thank you very much. 

Today my owners slept in... and so did I! It was so cold this morning I didn't even move. You'd think by the way I was talking we live in Michigan. But didn't I tell you, I'm a short-haired... okay, you heard me last time. We were specially bred for laying out on sunny patches of grass and sipping limeaid by the pool. Helloooo you think this good-lookingess happens naturally??

Well... it does, but can you please warm up already?

i am just too faaaast!

Sometimes when i am getting ready for bed I like to pretend I'm all sleepy, and then right when my master comes to put me in my crate I burst with puppy like agility and run out of the room. zooooom!

Why can't they catch me?

A.)I am faster than a speeding bullet. 

B.)I am agile like Tom Jones in his hey-day 

C.) My great-grandmother won the Wiener-Nationals-Rally Race in 1979

D.) I weave in and out of kitchen table legs like Mario Andrussi* (tribute to Roy Mercer)

E.) Because I said so.

Oh wait!!! I just got caught. 

Dangit... Time for bed :(